Emotional Development Deserves a Spotlight in Early Childhood
Emotional Intelligence, Regulation, and Validation in the Early Years
For generations, we have measured childhood success through physical and cognitive milestones, first steps, first words, ABCs, and 123s. But what about the emotional world of a child? What about the feelings behind the tantrum, their silence after a domestic conflict, or the joy that lights up a face when they are hugged, affirmed, and told how much you love them?
Emotional development has long taken a backseat, not just in parenting conversations, but even in education, health, and policy. And when it is discussed, it is often vague or filled with terms that seem inaccessible to everyday parents.
The next few blog posts set out to change that.
We will focus on the real meaning behind terms like emotional intelligence (EI), emotional-regulation, validation, and mental health — not for experts, but for loving parents, caregivers, and grandparents who want to raise emotionally strong and self-aware children. Let’s start by clarifying the foundation.
Emotional Intelligence: Not Just for Grown-Ups
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions — and to recognize, respond to, and influence others' emotions. While this term often shows up in adult leadership seminars, the seeds of emotional intelligence are planted in infancy.
When a baby cries and a caregiver responds with calmness, comfort, and consistency, the child begins to connect feelings with actions, needs with care. This is the first step in a lifelong process of learning to identify their emotions and respond to those of others.
In young children, EI is depicted in the toddler who pauses before hitting, or the preschooler who verbalises “I’m mad!” instead of throwing a tantrum. These are not just social niceties; they are the foundation for empathy, self-control, and healthy relationships.
Emotional Regulation: The “How” of Overwhelming Feelings
We all experience such emotions as joy, frustration, sadness, and fear. But emotional regulation is the skill of handling those emotions safely and appropriately.
Babies cannot self-regulate, so they borrow the calm of their parents or caregivers in a process called co-regulation. Think of it as training wheels for emotions.
As children grow, they begin learning how to wait, how to express anger with words, or how to comfort themselves with a favorite toy or deep breathing. These small steps, though often imperfect, are part of building emotional regulation.
Importantly, emotional regulation is not about not feeling. It’s about feeling safe and learning how to act constructively.
Validation & Acceptance: “It’s Okay to Feel This Way”
A common mistake we make as adults is rushing to fix, distract, or correct when a child is upset. But what children often need most is validation, which is the simple acknowledgment that their feelings are real and allowed.
“You’re mad that we can’t go to the park. That’s hard.”
That doesn’t mean we say yes to every request or allow harmful behavior. But by accepting the emotion, we make space for emotional growth. Children learn that feelings are not scary, shameful, or something to hide.
When we say, “It’s okay to be sad,” we teach that emotions are temporary, natural, and manageable.
🧩 Mental Health: Starts in the High Chair, Not the High School
Many people think of mental health as something that applies only when there is a problem or trauma, and usually later in life. But mental health is just like physical health. It’s always there, and it starts from birth.
The emotional environment we create, our presence, patience, tone, and reactions, all become part of our child’s inner world. Nurturing mental health does not require perfection. It requires connection, routines, emotional safety, validation of feelings, and the ability to repair after conflict.
By laying this emotional foundation early, we equip our children with resilience, confidence, and self-worth that will last a lifetime.
What’s Next?
In upcoming posts, we will continue to highlight emotional concepts, including empathy, co-regulation, triggers, and resilience, coupled with practical strategies for using them in everyday parenting.
You do not need a degree in psychology or early childhood development to raise emotionally intelligent children. But you do need a little guidance, a lot of love, and the willingness to grow alongside your child.
Footnotes:
- Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
- Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The Whole-Brain Child. Delacorte Press.