From Feelings to Friendships: How Emotional Growth Blossoms into Social Learning

Just as three-year-old Jamie places the last block, her little brother excitedly crashes it. Her eyes widen. Will she cry, yell, or ask him to stop? Jamie’s cousin, five-year-old Amy, watches the situation and offers to help Jamie rebuild. What unfolds next is not just a moment of play—it’s a mini-drama of emotional and social development.

As we wrap up our journey through emotional growth under the “G” of the GREATEST Roadmap, it’s time to walk hand-in-hand into the world of social-emotional learning (SEL)—where emotions become the fuel for social understanding and friendships begin to blossom.

Why Emotions Are the Bridge to Social Growth

Young children don’t wake up one day knowing how to share, cooperate, or resolve conflicts. These social skills emerge from emotional experiences. A child who learns to name her feelings (“I’m sad”) can then relate to others’ feelings (“You’re sad too”). Emotional growth provides the vocabulary, self-awareness, and empathy that stimulate the positive development of social learning.

Research shows that emotional regulation—the ability to manage one’s feelings—is closely linked to social competence. In one longitudinal study, Denham et al. (2003) found that preschoolers who could recognize and articulate their emotions were more likely to be liked by peers and resolve conflicts peacefully by the time they entered kindergarten.¹

Scenario #1: Snack Time Problem

During preschool snack time, two 4-year-olds, Mia and Leo, both reach for the last melon slice on the tray. Mia pouts and shouts, “That’s mine!” Leo starts to cry. Their teacher calmly steps in: “I see you both want the melon. Let’s figure this out together.”

What’s happening here? It’s not just about a melon slice. Mia is learning impulse control. Leo is learning emotional expression. Together, with adult support, they are beginning to navigate the social rules of compromise, fairness, sharing, and empathy.

From “Me” to “We”: The Social Skills That Follow Emotional Milestones

Here’s how emotional development feeds directly into social learning:

These social skills are not just “nice to have.” They are foundational. A well-known study by Jones, Greenberg, and Crowley (2015) found that children with strong SEL skills in kindergarten were more likely to graduate from high school, hold steady employment, and avoid legal trouble by their mid-20s.²

Scenario #2: Birthday Party Blues

At a birthday party, Jamal doesn’t get a turn on the bouncy house as quickly as he hoped. He stomps away, angry. His friend Tasha notices and says, “Do you want to play with me instead?” Tasha sees Jamal’s frustration, offers connection, and pulls him back into social play.

That’s SEL in action: self-awareness, plus empathy, plus social engagement.

What Parents Can Do: An Activity

A young friend with three boys once confided in me, “I desperately want my children to learn empathy and compassion.” Here’s a hands-on way to help your child link emotional growth to social understanding.

Activity: The Feelings Friends Collage

What you need:

• Old magazines or printed pictures of children (playing, crying, hugging, arguing, laughing) in different situations
• Scissors and glue
• Large sheet of paper or cardboard
• Markers

Steps:

1. Explore together – Look through pictures and ask: “What do you think this child is feeling?” or “Why might she be crying?”
2. Sort by feelings – Group pictures by emotions: happy, sad, angry, etc.
3. Make the connection – For each picture, discuss: “If you were this friend, what could you do?”
4. Create your collage – On a large sheet, glue the pictures and add labels: “When friends are sad, I can…” or “When I’m mad, I can…”

Why it works:
This activity teaches emotional vocabulary, perspective-taking, and problem-solving—key ingredients for social growth.

Social Growth Starts in the Heart

When we teach children to understand and express their feelings, we’re giving them the tools to connect, cooperate, and care. Emotional growth is the first chapter in the social story.

As the letter “G” of the GREATEST Roadmap parenting journey moves into the social development of young children through play, remember that every feeling acknowledged is a bridge to a stronger friendship.

So next time your child argues over a toy, take a breath. You’re not just managing a squabble—you’re shaping a citizen who is gradually learning to feel, relate, and belong.

Footnotes
¹ Denham, S. A., Blair, K. A., DeMulder, E., Levitas, J., Sawyer, K., Auerbach–Major, S., & Queenan, P. (2003). Preschool emotional competence: Pathway to social competence? Child Development, 74(1), 238–256.
² Jones, D. E., Greenberg, M., & Crowley, M. (2015). Early social-emotional functioning and public health: The relationship between kindergarten social competence and future wellness. American Journal of Public Health, 105(11), 2283–